You ask for a raise. You stand firm on your boundaries. You offer clear, direct feedback. And then it happens. Someone calls you "bossy," "aggressive," or, yes, even "bitchy." Let’s get one thing straight: when a woman is assertive, she is often penalized with a label, while a man displaying the same behavior would be praised. This isn't a you problem. This is a societal problem we need to dismantle.
The Double Standard:
For Men: Being firm, decisive, and demanding is seen as a leadership quality. They are "go-getters," "strong," and "effective."
For Women: Doing the exact same things makes you a "difficult woman" or, as the popular insult goes, a "bitch." This double standard is a weapon used to silence and disempower you. It’s designed to make you apologize and shrink back into "nicer," less effective behavior.
The Badass Punch:
Stop apologizing. Every time you soften your language or apologize for stating a fact, you validate the critic. Your clear communication and boundaries do not require an apology.
Reframe the label. When someone uses that word, they are not describing your character; they are describing their discomfort with a woman's power. It’s their issue, not yours.
Lean in. The fear of being called "bitchy" is the barrier holding many women back from true success and authentic leadership. Decide now that the opinion of someone threatened by your strength is not worth sacrificing your goals. You're not being mean; you're just saying what you mean and what you want.
Badass Tip:
Be gutsy like Granny. The necklace featured in the blog photo belonged to my Granny. Her co-workers bought it for her in an attempt to intimidate her into submission. Instead, she chose to wear the necklace to work like a badge of honor. No apologizing for being assertive. No crumbling under their label. No running. Granny gave me the necklace before she passed as a reminder that only I can define who I am.